So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
