Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
