Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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