Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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