He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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