you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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