Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
