my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
