Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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