you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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