I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
