i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
