Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This house was built for laser tag.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
