I smell stomach acid.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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