We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
