remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
