with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
