"it" just moved
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
soo... how was my night?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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