Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Found your dick twin last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
