they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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