well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
