yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish i was in the wii world.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
