Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
