i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize