I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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