Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There r osticjed everywhere
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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