it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
