Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
