Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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