Michael Bay diarrhea
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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