I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
