I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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