I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
