I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
