I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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