I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
