I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my shit smells like andre
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
