It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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