Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
