CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
