i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So much rum. So many feels.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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