haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize