he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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