Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
