I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
