i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
