Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
