Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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