Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
