it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
