Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
