Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
