He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
