Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize