M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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