Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
