If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
