who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
