Got a toothbrush?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
