i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize