Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize