Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
