I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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