We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
