So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
