dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
