I just pynch a tree in the face
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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