marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
