So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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