3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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