Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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