It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize