your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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