sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
