she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
