He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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